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the_violet_undergroundElection day, I was shocked. The day after, I sobbed. But after the last two weeks, I'm angry, heartsick, and sore. I have to do something. My plan is simple yet ambitious. Our president and far too many men don’t value compassion, empathy, passion, or emotional appeals. They think we should ask nicely and calmly for basic dignity. I say screw that. They don’t understand the power of a kind word or a shared story. So, I want to teach them. I want to fight for all who are targeted by this administration, especially women - including trans women. It also uses a lot of E words because I like alliteration. I can’t do it alone, though. No one can fight the fight in front of us alone. We need to support each other. Here are some general ways we can do so: Empathy, Encouragement, Education, and Engagement.
Empathy - The cornerstone value of this whole fight. Nothing changes if I don’t try to understand other people. It’s easy for me to have empathy for people I agree with. I look at a battered and bloody protester who was attacked by a police officer, and I feel their pain. I look at a Latino family who is terrified of being torn apart, and I ache for them.
What is far harder is empathy for the opposition. I can't feel sorry for those who consistently choose to hate. But there are those who are trapped. Just like in any cult, there are people who want out but can't leave due to money or other family who need help. They are worth my compassion. I used to think the people who voted for Trump and bigotry were reachable if I just explained things the right way. But this is a trap. It's not possible to reach people who choose violence and prejudice. Those people feel threatened because they hate and fear anyone different from themselves. They see our very existence as an attack on their very existence. It's all very melodramatic and dangerous. They actually believe that empathy is a sin. This is why we must hold tight to our empathy for each other. For trans people targeted by this administration, for immigrant families targeted by ICE, for the people stuck in red states that can't leave, and for everyone else who's harmed by the Christofascists taking power. We have a weapon the right can't use in empathy. We can use it to build community and fight. One person builds to a hundred builds to a thousand builds to a community that can win back our country.
Encouragement - These are dark days for many of us, including me. I am scared, and for good reason. Bigotry was justified and reinforced by this election. A lot of people feel this gives them the right to attack, belittle, hurt, and kill minorities, women, queer people. The president and his cronies hate and attack, so why can’t the people who have been itching to say the n-word in public for decades? It is nearly unbearable after the last four years. I felt relief when Biden was elected in 2020. He is not my favorite, but at least there was a grown-up who believed in democracy in the White House. The disappointment I felt in November, and then again in January, when we elected a rapist instead of a Black woman, almost took me under for good. It was made worse by not being shocked or surprised.
It’s hard to see how we can get back to a functioning democracy instead of a limping fascism. Some people who woke up over the last ten or fifteen years won't go back to sleep - but will they fight? I hope so. I am holding on to hope with my fingertips. I have to believe that what we do now will matter in the long run, or I'll never get out of bed. It is terrifying to hope, let alone encourage others to do so. But there are always people who help. Always people who reach out. There are still good Americans who get it and who will make a difference. One terrible event does not erase all that. So, I will be consciously looking for these stories. And I am going to link two right now because we all need it:
The ICE hotline went down because so many people called in bogus tips that it stopped being useful as a tool of the Gestapo. Well done.
The government also backed off the illegal freezing of all assets, not in small part because people called and called and called and yelled and yelled and yelled at their respective representatives.
There are a lot of people who GET IT. A small number compared to the population of the USA, yes, and it's easy to think we won’t matter. But it's a start. We have to hope and encourage each other to rest and to fight. That is the only way to build a movement to be proud to be part of.
So, I will seek out and share encouraging news as well as the horrors. It's a necessary self-care step. If I just focus on the riots, the court cases, and the policy, I will despair and never try to help. I must look for happiness and remind myself why I want to do this. Finding joy is as important as fighting evil.
Education - In order to change things, I need to examine what is happening that is so wrong and educate others about it. The first thing is to get the definitions down. Then, explain the impact. This is hard for me to do because all of it is so personal. For instance, it can be painful to go through defining sexual assault and its impact as an exercise in education. But I do it because I know many people who still need to understand what is happening here. Most people are just not well-informed and won't be until it directly impacts them. By then it might be too late. Now, I’m fighting for my life, and sometimes, I can’t give a 101 lesson on what that means and why it is. And there are a lot of people who just don’t want to know. No matter what, they refuse to understand why their premises and arguments just aren’t good. It gets depressing after a while.
But, some people will be allies if they are educated. I mean, you don’t know what you don’t know. As I said, many people are just woefully under-informed, even now. And given this culture, it's unlikely they will even know they need the education or have any clue on how to find it. I do know. I feel that personally It's imperative that I share the knowledge I have. I used to assume that a person was using offensive language or asking a question from privilege because they didn’t know any better and tried to explain why it was wrong in detail. Now, I have much less patience. If someone asks a question or makes a statement that could be read as neutral, I respond neutrally. If they don’t want to know better, don’t care, or don’t see what they think as a problem, that becomes very obvious in their response. At that point, I say goodbye. But, there are people who really just don’t know. And the ability to be the one to help them understand the world better and become a more empathetic person is fantastic. It makes the other stuff worth it. It gives me hope.
And I’m not just going to stop at the 101 level. I’m a cultural anthropologist by training and a marketing manager by trade, so I enjoy taking apart various cultural assumptions, premises, ideals, and ideologies. I’ll definitely be talking about privilege, sexism, racism, original sin, religious fear, Christian terrorism, and all sorts of other controversial subjects. I do think that Christianity is a lot of the problem these days, but not all religions are Christianity, nor are they harmful. Not all individual Christians are evil, either. I am also going to tackle pop culture and the messages it sends. I will tear apart authors and stories I know people love and cling to. I will be as careful as I can to attack the ideas and the underlying bigotry. I will not demonize the fans. Pop culture is complicated. There’s a lot to love and a lot to hate. But, the way to make it better is to examine where it fails and what the consequences are when it does.
This is going to be difficult, and I expect a fair amount of backlash. I understand why. I am going to pick apart beliefs people have based their whole lives on. I’m going to be saying where it goes wrong. I will be critical of characters and stories people love that may be a core part of their identity.
So if you are with me, let me know. If you aren’t, ask me questions, and I will give you my best answers. I will not tolerate trolling or bad-faith talking points. I ask that you do your best to consider my premises, especially when they conflict with what you think you know. Everything will be here on the Violet Underground and cross-posted to Bluesky. Social media is an incredible tool for organizing.
Engagement - Stay with it. Stay with your life. Stay with your work, your friends, your family. Talk to other people and be part of their story. Find people who are having a hard time and talk to them. When you read something that makes you smile or feel hopeful, let the author know. Solidarity is everything. This is just as important as telling authors that you disagree with them. Being part of whatever community you are in is everything. Whether it's having conversations online or leaving notes in books for people to find, it's crucial.
And, keep engaging in all the things you like to do. Remind yourself daily of what you have that is worth fighting for. Some days, everything just seems dark. So, I ask my friends to remind me. I pet my cat. I work hard on my education. I read books by authors I love. I watch silly things on TV. It's vital to self-care to do things that are good, fun, and funny. It's not frivolous. It gives me something to hold on to and to fight for. It makes it easier for me to believe there are good things in the world.
I’m going to post, write, encourage, explore, and educate myself and others. And I encourage everyone to do what they can. If you can't go out and join a protest or work for the ACLU, that’s okay. You still have things to give. I am working on a certification, looking for a full-time job, and will be in school part-time soon. I will join local groups fighting for good in my community. But, right now, I can do this. I can talk to people. I can express empathy, I can offer education and I can provide encouragement. I would love to say I will do everything every day, but I know me. So, I will say I will do one thing every day. Either share or create content, encourage someone, listen to someone, or educate someone. I ask you to do the same. Even if it feels like too little, it's not. Remind yourself how important it is to have someone in your corner, and do what you can to be the same for someone else.
Empathy - The cornerstone value of this whole fight. Nothing changes if I don’t try to understand other people. It’s easy for me to have empathy for people I agree with. I look at a battered and bloody protester who was attacked by a police officer, and I feel their pain. I look at a Latino family who is terrified of being torn apart, and I ache for them.
What is far harder is empathy for the opposition. I can't feel sorry for those who consistently choose to hate. But there are those who are trapped. Just like in any cult, there are people who want out but can't leave due to money or other family who need help. They are worth my compassion. I used to think the people who voted for Trump and bigotry were reachable if I just explained things the right way. But this is a trap. It's not possible to reach people who choose violence and prejudice. Those people feel threatened because they hate and fear anyone different from themselves. They see our very existence as an attack on their very existence. It's all very melodramatic and dangerous. They actually believe that empathy is a sin. This is why we must hold tight to our empathy for each other. For trans people targeted by this administration, for immigrant families targeted by ICE, for the people stuck in red states that can't leave, and for everyone else who's harmed by the Christofascists taking power. We have a weapon the right can't use in empathy. We can use it to build community and fight. One person builds to a hundred builds to a thousand builds to a community that can win back our country.
Encouragement - These are dark days for many of us, including me. I am scared, and for good reason. Bigotry was justified and reinforced by this election. A lot of people feel this gives them the right to attack, belittle, hurt, and kill minorities, women, queer people. The president and his cronies hate and attack, so why can’t the people who have been itching to say the n-word in public for decades? It is nearly unbearable after the last four years. I felt relief when Biden was elected in 2020. He is not my favorite, but at least there was a grown-up who believed in democracy in the White House. The disappointment I felt in November, and then again in January, when we elected a rapist instead of a Black woman, almost took me under for good. It was made worse by not being shocked or surprised.
It’s hard to see how we can get back to a functioning democracy instead of a limping fascism. Some people who woke up over the last ten or fifteen years won't go back to sleep - but will they fight? I hope so. I am holding on to hope with my fingertips. I have to believe that what we do now will matter in the long run, or I'll never get out of bed. It is terrifying to hope, let alone encourage others to do so. But there are always people who help. Always people who reach out. There are still good Americans who get it and who will make a difference. One terrible event does not erase all that. So, I will be consciously looking for these stories. And I am going to link two right now because we all need it:
The ICE hotline went down because so many people called in bogus tips that it stopped being useful as a tool of the Gestapo. Well done.
The government also backed off the illegal freezing of all assets, not in small part because people called and called and called and yelled and yelled and yelled at their respective representatives.
There are a lot of people who GET IT. A small number compared to the population of the USA, yes, and it's easy to think we won’t matter. But it's a start. We have to hope and encourage each other to rest and to fight. That is the only way to build a movement to be proud to be part of.
So, I will seek out and share encouraging news as well as the horrors. It's a necessary self-care step. If I just focus on the riots, the court cases, and the policy, I will despair and never try to help. I must look for happiness and remind myself why I want to do this. Finding joy is as important as fighting evil.
Education - In order to change things, I need to examine what is happening that is so wrong and educate others about it. The first thing is to get the definitions down. Then, explain the impact. This is hard for me to do because all of it is so personal. For instance, it can be painful to go through defining sexual assault and its impact as an exercise in education. But I do it because I know many people who still need to understand what is happening here. Most people are just not well-informed and won't be until it directly impacts them. By then it might be too late. Now, I’m fighting for my life, and sometimes, I can’t give a 101 lesson on what that means and why it is. And there are a lot of people who just don’t want to know. No matter what, they refuse to understand why their premises and arguments just aren’t good. It gets depressing after a while.
But, some people will be allies if they are educated. I mean, you don’t know what you don’t know. As I said, many people are just woefully under-informed, even now. And given this culture, it's unlikely they will even know they need the education or have any clue on how to find it. I do know. I feel that personally It's imperative that I share the knowledge I have. I used to assume that a person was using offensive language or asking a question from privilege because they didn’t know any better and tried to explain why it was wrong in detail. Now, I have much less patience. If someone asks a question or makes a statement that could be read as neutral, I respond neutrally. If they don’t want to know better, don’t care, or don’t see what they think as a problem, that becomes very obvious in their response. At that point, I say goodbye. But, there are people who really just don’t know. And the ability to be the one to help them understand the world better and become a more empathetic person is fantastic. It makes the other stuff worth it. It gives me hope.
And I’m not just going to stop at the 101 level. I’m a cultural anthropologist by training and a marketing manager by trade, so I enjoy taking apart various cultural assumptions, premises, ideals, and ideologies. I’ll definitely be talking about privilege, sexism, racism, original sin, religious fear, Christian terrorism, and all sorts of other controversial subjects. I do think that Christianity is a lot of the problem these days, but not all religions are Christianity, nor are they harmful. Not all individual Christians are evil, either. I am also going to tackle pop culture and the messages it sends. I will tear apart authors and stories I know people love and cling to. I will be as careful as I can to attack the ideas and the underlying bigotry. I will not demonize the fans. Pop culture is complicated. There’s a lot to love and a lot to hate. But, the way to make it better is to examine where it fails and what the consequences are when it does.
This is going to be difficult, and I expect a fair amount of backlash. I understand why. I am going to pick apart beliefs people have based their whole lives on. I’m going to be saying where it goes wrong. I will be critical of characters and stories people love that may be a core part of their identity.
So if you are with me, let me know. If you aren’t, ask me questions, and I will give you my best answers. I will not tolerate trolling or bad-faith talking points. I ask that you do your best to consider my premises, especially when they conflict with what you think you know. Everything will be here on the Violet Underground and cross-posted to Bluesky. Social media is an incredible tool for organizing.
Engagement - Stay with it. Stay with your life. Stay with your work, your friends, your family. Talk to other people and be part of their story. Find people who are having a hard time and talk to them. When you read something that makes you smile or feel hopeful, let the author know. Solidarity is everything. This is just as important as telling authors that you disagree with them. Being part of whatever community you are in is everything. Whether it's having conversations online or leaving notes in books for people to find, it's crucial.
And, keep engaging in all the things you like to do. Remind yourself daily of what you have that is worth fighting for. Some days, everything just seems dark. So, I ask my friends to remind me. I pet my cat. I work hard on my education. I read books by authors I love. I watch silly things on TV. It's vital to self-care to do things that are good, fun, and funny. It's not frivolous. It gives me something to hold on to and to fight for. It makes it easier for me to believe there are good things in the world.
I’m going to post, write, encourage, explore, and educate myself and others. And I encourage everyone to do what they can. If you can't go out and join a protest or work for the ACLU, that’s okay. You still have things to give. I am working on a certification, looking for a full-time job, and will be in school part-time soon. I will join local groups fighting for good in my community. But, right now, I can do this. I can talk to people. I can express empathy, I can offer education and I can provide encouragement. I would love to say I will do everything every day, but I know me. So, I will say I will do one thing every day. Either share or create content, encourage someone, listen to someone, or educate someone. I ask you to do the same. Even if it feels like too little, it's not. Remind yourself how important it is to have someone in your corner, and do what you can to be the same for someone else.